Sandbox

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "He just doesn't want to buy a house in his neighborhood because he wants to wait for the prices there to take a dive after the inevitable and up and coming Armageddon." But that's not it at all. Sure not being a homeowner right now seems like the smart thing, and I do like to think that I'm smart. But here's the real story -- the TRUE real story.

See, we moved to a new town last year. It was like a perpetual vacation. We lived with my mother-in-law for 2 months. No, really, it was fun. I love my mother-in-law. She's truly a gem. Anyway, when we moved here, we had just paid a young couple LOTS of money to take our starter home away from us, and as a result we couldn't afford to buy anything but a dumpster. Not to mention, the 3 bedrooms 2 baths in the new neighborhood were $250,000 on the low end. Can I tell you that that revelation made me leave skid marks just a little? So we decided to rent instead. And where did we sink our (albeit temporary) roots? Yup right there in that neighborhood where the house prices induce BM's. We found a brand-spankin new house for rent. The rent on the aforementioned cottage was roughly half what we would have paid for a monthly mortgage payment on the same dwelling.

So we're in the house for a couple of months when, one morning, Summer (and all of its accompanying sweatiness) rolls up out front (like that dreaded 2nd cousin of yours that you always try to avoid at the family reunions) in a '75 Minni Winnie, accompanied by clouds of poorly combusted fossil fuels, and odors that confess she needs a sanitary dump, (this thing violates so many E.P.A. regulations that Dick Cheney would have skid-marked HIS pants just a little) and loudly announces in front of all my neighbors that it lost it's job and has decided to afford us with a long-awaited visit. Then it informs us that its only staying for about three months. So, we relent, close up all the windows and turn on the A/C.

Its a couple of weeks before we realize that the temperature in one half of the house is hot, and the other half is merely tolerable. Now why is that do you suppose? So we call up the property manager. (normally I just take care of these things myself, but we're obliged to a landlord now, so we let him take care of it) Following is a re-construction of the conversation as best as I can recollect it. "Hello Debbie?" I start the conversation. "Yea, something weird is going on. Half of the house is hot, but the other half isn't" I continue. "Oh" She retorts. " . . ." ( I wait. ) ". . ." "So . . . can you send someone to check into it?" I query ( The vibes I'm getting are giving me flashbacks of a phone call I once made to the DMV. ) "Well" ( the reply finally eeks through the receiver. ) "the house is still under warranty, so if you can find out who the HVAC company is that installed the system you can just call them and schedule an appointment to have them look at it." YES!! that's exactly what I was hoping for. HER letting ME handle it. That's why I rent. I get to take care of the problem and someone else pays for it!

So the HVAC guy comes and goes and the problem is still unresolved. He tells us that the airflow is set just right and blames the anomaly on "solar flares--or something". That was last summer. After the uninvited 2nd cousin left to violate EPA regulations in the southern hemisphere, we noticed that winter brought us icy winds . . . blowing through the closed windows of our little bungalow. "AHA!" I proclaim. "That's why the house feels hot on this side in the summer. Most of the A/C pumps cool air to the other side of the house, and hot air blows in these windows here."

So you see, I'm not necessarily waiting for the Apocalypse before I buy a house here. I just don't want to convert my cash to something akin to a 4H project thats all.

Done.

How's Ron Paul doing in Technorati searches today?

Posts that contain "Ron Paul" per day for the last 30 days.

Get your own chart!

These are just a few quotes that I had scribbled on my hPDA and wanted to clean up a bit so I thought I'd just post them here. Where the source of the quote is known, the citation will follow.

"He who makes a contract with himself has a fool for a client."

"Is the day coming when we might face hard doctrine? Will we with Peter say, 'To whom shall we go, thou hast the words of eternal life?'"
Pres. Gary Rasmussen

"If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed."
St. John 8:31 quoted by Pres. Gary Rasmussen

"We have the words of the prophets. They always warn us before the firestorm."

"Of all the characteristics of the Savior, the one that I want to emulate the most is his meekness."
Elder Jay E. Jensen

"Be patient with us sisters, we are a do-it-yourself project in progress. Stick with us. Eventually it will be worth it."
Elder Jay E. Jensen

The previous quotes were recorded at the Tucson Stake conference 04/29/2007.


"There is nothing so bad that it cannot be made worse by whining."


"Man doesn't go where his mind hasn't been."

"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost."
--John Quincy Adams

A thinking American will truly investigate the voting records and statements of ALL the candidates, not just rely on the spoon feeding they get from t.v. news. To illustrate that the professional news organizations DO have their favorites, here is a fun experiment, if you are not afraid to have your paradigm shifted. Try the following: On the next televised debate, turn the volume on the t.v. all the way DOWN. Then look at the placement of the candidates on stage. Try to make a mental note as to how much visual time each candidate gets. From these and other observations that you make you should be able, very quickly, to determine Which are the favored candidates. Next, follow the council of J.Q.A. and cast a vote that you will never have to regret. In closing, remember the immortal words of that great American Apollo Creed, "Be a thinker, not a stinker"
Now go out there and think.

"So . . . you have some vacation time coming up" she says. "Yeeeeees", you exhale slowly. You knew it was coming. It was inevitable. You have been in this house for 5 years and until now you have managed to escape this conversation each year. But not today. No, today you will have to take your spine out of the closet where it has nestled snuggly alongside that size medium Quiet Riot tee you got the summer of '84. The one with the little hole near the hem at the bottom, and the mustard stain on the left sleeve that has mostly faded from age. It WILL fit again. IT WILL!

So it has finally come to this. You have to finish the basement. And you have NO IDEA what you're doing. But don't worry. I'm going to help you. We ARE going to get through this. First I'm going to give you a couple of simple assignments to get you in the right frame of mind. First assignment. Go down to the basement by yourself. Head over to where the furnace and water heater are sitting next to each other in the corner. Go around to the other side of it so if she comes down to see what you are doing you'll have a little warning before she can actually see you. Now, take off your shirt and ball it up loosely. Last thing, bury your face in it. Now start crying. Make it good, like William Jefferson in front of his newly emptied freezer. Cause this is the end of your discretionary time for the next 3 months. Oh she THINKS you'll get it done before you squander the last of your sacred vacation time on this gleaming gem of futility. But she is so wrong.

I'd feel like Jerry Falwell at a Senate confirmation hearing if I didn't didn't disclose something to you right now. You can forget about watching baseball this summer. And grilling. And fishing. And maybe the first couple of weeks of Monday Night Football. Now for the bright side. This will end. There is an end to it. I personally have finished many a basement. Large and small. So do not fear. You have come to the right place. (Now how do I get this funny shaped pencil to fit in the electric sharpener . . .)